Monday, September 28, 2009

If you like Pina Coladas

then you're like me! So, you might think that's a bit random. And it is. But, for whatever reason, it popped in my head as I started this post so I thought I would share.

Today was Bible study day. Two of my girlfriends and I are going through Beth Moore's 'Believing God'. So far, I'm loving it for a few different reasons. 1- Beth Moore rocks. 2- I get to fellowship with two of my best girlfriends. 3- I'm loving spending time in the mornings on the couch with my coffee, my Bible and my Jesus (not necessarily in that order). 4- I can tell that we are going to get a lot out of it and that makes me happy!

I am heading to a huge consignment sale tomorrow evening and hoping to pick up a jumper for Jaxers. Which sounds like some kind of charity event, but really I'm just getting a toy for my kiddo. Or at least, I'm hoping to get a toy for my kiddo. I am really praying that I will find something good and cheap that will be able to entertain him. I'm having such a hard time doing anything because he likes me to entertain him. As his mother, I'm ok with that... to a certain extent. It comes to a point where I end up not doing anything all day because I can't leave his side (or I guess it's more like, he can't leave my side). So I would really like to find something that will keep him a bit more entertained without me. Mama needs to get some stuff done!

2.5 weeks since Ryan left and he comes home in 3.5 weeks. I'm almost halfway there! Plus, my grandma comes to visit the week before Ryan comes home, so I really only have to countdown to that. I'm excited for her to come visit us. I know these next two weeks will go by quickly, then grandma will be here, then Ryan will be home!!!

Friday, September 25, 2009

The week(s) in review

I figured out how to get my phone pictures onto my computer. They aren't as great as camera pictures, obviously, but they're cute nonetheless. Here you go...

Coffee with daddy before he left

I'm so good at reaching for my toys!

This hoodie won't fit much longer, so mommy needed to take some pictures

All ready for mommies group!!

I love the jumperoo!

My daddy rocks!

Brody and Jax holding hands... friends forever!

Thursday, September 24, 2009


-I'm watching Survivor for the first time in years.

-I've started watching Biggest Loser. It's motivating me to lose weight. It's also making me bawl my eyes out every Tuesday night.

-Ryan comes home in one month from today!

-Jax started reaching for his toys. Goooo hand-eye coordination!

-I've lost 3 pounds since Ryan's been gone. My goal is 10. (Overall goal is 30).

-I'm hungry.

-Mojo is acting like a guard dog while Ryan's gone. A 5 pound guard dog.

-Tomorrow is Friday, but that doesn't mean much while Ryan's gone.

-My grandma comes for a visit in 3 weeks!

-Mommies Group rocked today. It's been 6 weeks since I've seen everyone.

-I'm really, really missing California right now.

-I'm going to stay up late to watch Grey's Anatomy and Project Runway. YAY Thursdays!

Monday, September 21, 2009

One week down

5 weeks to go... actually 4 weeks and 5 days. I would have to say that even though there were a lot a boring/lonely times, the past week went by fairly quickly. I'm still working on finding things to do. I've started a craft project, but haven't gotten very far. I need to get better at managing my time. There are times when I'll feed Jax and he'll fall asleep after. Instead of putting him down, I'll just sit and relax with him laying on me. Then when he wakes up, I have to interact with him and take care of him. And I don't mean for that to sound like a bad thing. I love being his mommy! But I'm just not great at working around his schedule. I need to take advantage of the times when he sleeps. I did, however, put him in the jumperoo at church on Sunday and he loved it! He's barely tall enough for his feet to touch, but they do enough for him to move around. He's not quite big enough for the seat so I had to put a blanket behind him to prop him forward. But whatever... he'll grow into it! I'm totally going to keep my eye out for a used one because that would make my life so much easier! I would have something to put him in that will entertain him. Yes! But I don't have $100 for a new one, so hopefully used one will pop up.

I wish I could post some pictures, but Ryan took the camera to France and I've been using my phone to take pictures. I have no clue how to connect my phone and download pictures to my computer. I will have to do a catch-up pictures post when Ryan gets back. (In just over one month... oh goodness that sounds so much longer than saying "4 1/2 weeks"!)

PS- Ryan's birthday is Wednesday, so email him a HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY!!!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

What to do, What to do

For reals ya'll... what do you do all day? I have been getting rather bored with Ryan being gone and I'm just wondering what you guys do? I have been trying to go for a walk every morning. After that, I get Jax settled and I take a shower/get ready for the day. Sometimes I feel so lazy that "getting ready" means a wet ponytail and sweatpants... no judgement, please. But I usually try to make an effort to do my hair and makeup, even if I don't have big plans for the day. Once I'm done with that, I feed Jax and get him changed and ready for the day. After all of this, it's only about 1030am. Soooo.... I still have the whole day ahead of me!

I really hate sitting and watching TV for a long time. For one, I feel all kinds of fat and lazy when I do that. For two, I feel like a horrible mom who isn't stimulating her son. However, I also hate having a completely silent house. I've been trying to spend time on the floor with Jax but he really hates tummy time, which is such a bummer! I lay him on his back on his playmat and that usually lasts a little while. But eventually he gets fussy and doesn't want to be there anymore. So then what? Then what do I do? I'm starting to feel like a horrible mother because I'll end up putting him on my lap, facing me, with the TV on in the background.

Mommies... I really need some ideas or at least some reassurance that I'm not being a horrible mother. Or maybe I am? I try to find somewhere to go every day, but even running errands doesn't take very long. Especially when this mama doesn't have much extra money to spend! Right now the days are dragging on and it's really feeling like these 6 weeks are going to take FOREVER!

Help me!!!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Je parle fran├žais!

I finally just heard from Ryan (through a brief and terribly misspelt email), and they arrived in France safe and sound. It's 12:30 my time and they should have arrived about 5 hours ago, but he didn't get a chance to contact me until now. I will hopefully be getting a call from him sooner than later. But for now, I wait.

It feels like a mini-deployment... aka, prep for the real thing next year. I have forgotten what it feels like to not be able to contact him. I just have to wait for him to call/email/Skype me. It brings back all the memories of his 15 months in Iraq. Except this time, I'm not around family and I have a kid to take care of. How different life has become! Better in many ways... maybe worse in a few.

I was pleasantly surprised at how smooth last night went. No doubt it was because of everyone's prayers. They are appreciated more than you know. I originally had a light in the living room on, so that my house wasn't too dark. I also keep my bathroom light on with the door cracked. It almost didn't feel like nighttime, which was great until I couldn't sleep because of it. I actually ended up getting up and turning the living room light off! I was so brave! Jax woke up at about 130 instead of 4, so that part wasn't so great. But besides that, everything went well. I slept well. I wasn't too worried about being alone. And I woke up this morning thinking "I can do this. 6 weeks will fly by!".

So here we are... 1 day down, 39 to go!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Praises and Prayers- Part 2

-My follow-up (biopsy) for my abnormal pap went really well.
*First of all, it hurt much less than it has in the past.
*Second of all, the doctor said that it looks completely normal and he's expecting it to come back clear! He thinks that it was abnormal because my immune system was all out of whack from having Jax. So if it comes back clear, then I don't have to go back in for 6 months! YIPEEE!! So let's all just keep praying that the doctor is right and it will come back clear.
-One of my previous posts was about a little boy name Tyson who needs your prayers. He needs to be 22 pounds to have his kidney transplant surgery and he is at 20 pounds now, so only two more to go!

-Although there are praises in regards to Tyson's situation... other things have come up and there are further prayers needed as well. Here is an email from Tyson's mommy...

We went in for some tests a week ago and it appears Tyson has some other major issues we need to deal with. As you know Tyson has a hole in his belly that bypasses the blockage in his urethra. This has made it so his bladder and urethra have not been used like normal, the size and muscle tone of both are significantly low.

The urologist is very concerned that if we don't get the bladder and urethra working properly that he may reject a new kidney because the bladder/urethra will not be able to process the urine and cause a backup...again.

So...the course of action is this...we go in for a day surgery on October 2nd to remove the blockage in the urethra and put in a catheter. Every two weeks we will put in a slightly larger catheter to get the urethra to grow. The hole he currently pees through will remain until the urethra is usable. The urologist will get on his transplant team so we can have the timing right for working on the bladder as well.

Please keep Tyson in your prayers...God has total control of this entire situation!
We love you all!
Pete, Annie & Tyson

-So please continue to pray for this adorable little boy. Also pray for his mommy and daddy who have baby #2 on the way!

One final thing... I read this poem on another blog and it really hit home. Although the tough times in life are just that, tough, they are so necessary because that's when God truly works in us. It's a scary, scary thing to admit that tough situations are necessary, but I hope to always trust God and find joy in all that he presents me with. Good, bad or ugly.

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
[Sir Francis Drake]

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Praises and Prayers

  • i have a man who is a great husband and daddy... and provides for our family.
  • we have a happy, healthy, beautiful baby boy
  • we have a house that we own (as in, we don't rent. not like own own).
  • we have 2 cars that both work. -plus a Harley. but I don't know if I consider that a praise.
  • i have friends who are like family away from family.
  • we have an awesome church that feeds our souls.
  • ryan has been home for 2 whole years. -that's SO not normal for the Army.
  • that these next 6 weeks (starting sunday) will fly by.
  • that I will become better at being alone... especially at night.
  • that Ryan will have a safe/fun trip to France.
  • that my cavity will not get worse before we have the money to fix it.
  • that even though my pap came back abnormal (for the umpteenth time), I will not need treatment and it would heal on its own. (**This may seem like TMI, but I could really use the prayers for this one!)

Thanks. I love you all.

Thursday, September 3, 2009


My mind is wandering all over the place... all kinds of thoughts over the past few days.

I'm super happy for friends of mine who have had babies in the past few months. However, there is always this twinge of jealousy for those who had, shall we say, non c-section births. I am truly, truly thankful that Jax and I are both happy and healthy now. But there are times when I just get bummed about how everything turned out. It's not that I feel like I didn't do my job as a woman. I pushed for FOUR hours. I did my job. Jax just had other plans. He wasn't ready to come out and I wish I had been more aware of that, sucked it up and just waited to get induced. I bet if I had given it another week, he would have come out on his own. Now, I just really want to know what it's like to actually birth a baby. I pray all the time that I will be able to have a VBAC and experience a "normal" birth one day. Oh well... like I said, I'm so blessed to have a happy, healthy baby and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.

On another note, Ryan leaves next Sunday for France. He will be gone for 6 weeks, which isn't too long. But I'm still not looking forward to it. I'm not worried about taking care of Jax by myself. I know I can handle that. It's more the being alone stuff that I'm not looking forward to. Plus the boy things that he normally does that I will now have to do. Trash, lawns, etc... I'm also bummed about him missing 6 weeks of Jax growing. Jax changes so much, so quickly that he's going to seem like a different kid when Ryan gets home. He will be almost 5 months old!

I've also been missing California like crazy. Going home a few weeks ago was AWESOME! I had such a great time seeing family and a few friends. But it also made me miss it so much more. Before we had Jax, it wasn't such a big deal to be so far away from everyone. Now, it's a totally different story. It makes me sad that Jax doesn't regularly get to see his grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. It also makes me miss my girlfriends more because a lot of them are having babies and I really want to have playdates and hang out with them. I have friends here with babies, but it's a bit different because I grew up with the girls back home.

So basically I've just been overall bummed out for the past few days. I'll get over it and be strong and move on... because that's what mommies do. They are strong for their babies. And I intend to be nothing less than heroic for mine!